Perfectly Imperfect.



The life of a mom / student is definitely unpredictable, so I focus on researching ideas that would make my life and the lives of others more balanced and doable. So, when I realized that it’s not really possible to study and parent perfectly, I decided to blend the two. Now, audiobooks are my friends because carpool and commuting to work is where I spend the majority of my time. One of my favorites is The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav. In the foreword to the 25th edition of that text, they discuss how the book spoke to them and it’s usefulness. As I explored the book, I resonated with his concepts of authentic power vs. external power. The contents therein made me question the perception of power as strength, which led me to my research topic for 2019 on the evolution, fallacy and redefinition of the “Strong Black Woman”. I wanted to know if this stereotype was valid, and if black women had something buried deep within the psyche that forced them to be strong. Arguably, Oprah Winfrey, an African-American millionaire and Angelou, a poet and holder of over 70 honorary doctorates are one of the best depictions of this trope. Many women of all races and cultures look to their words as wisdom and light. Over the course of my research, I found several surprising issues that not only black women, but many women, struggle with in silence. I hope that my research will offer healing and hope to all.

Love is the most powerful force in the universe.


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Healing for Women

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If you choose to focus your attention on the strengths of others, on the virtues of others, on that part of others that strives for the highest, you run through your system the higher frequency currents of appreciation, acceptance and love. Your energy and influence radiate instantaneously from soul to soul. You become a more effective instrument of constructive change.
— Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul
The Seat of the Soul

Summer 2019 “Must Read”


Mom-Student-Teacher of Three

Regardless of what people say, I never consider myself a “good” mother. According to me, I am not present enough, or supportive enough. I don’t make dinner enough or force my kids to clean my house top to bottom each Saturday like a good mother should. Instead, I settle for dishes washed and put away most nights, garbage (and recycling) thrown out when it gets high, moderately clean floors and lemon pepper wings and veggie sticks at Wingstop for dinner instead of McDonald’s - because it’s on Keto. When we are living on the edge I order them cajun corn too.

I am first generation suburban mom, so I am having to figure a few things out. I grew up in the inner-city of Dallas, and things were quite different than they are on the mean streets of Plano. Our schedules are crazy busy all of the time, because out here, you have to be at the top of your game in everything in order compete. It seems like you have to be, well… perfect.

Coming from an urban background and learning to live in suburbia offered me an unexpected learning curve. My daughters’ and son’s friends parents come from all over the world, and we are all learning this suburban lifestyle together. One of the things I have found most interesting is how our children’s different cultural backgrounds influence each other. It seems like the amalgamation of cultures produce a more tolerant global outlook on race and culture, and it has made me question what I teach my children about being black versus what I teach them about being human.

As I have shifted my own view of the world toward a more universal global perspective, I have found that my relationship with my children has deepened and their wisdom has increased. It occurred to me that I am continuing a tradition both my father and mother nurtured in me. They taught me that everyone, regardless of their race is the same, and that we are no better nor worse than anyone else. In the same way, I am passing down to my children a legacy of respect for all, inclusiveness and unity. I feel this is the path of good parenting as it fosters internal and external healing for both my children and the people they encounter. Handing a fear-based ideology of “us and them” to ones children around the dinner table continues the process of fragmenting people, communities, nations, and ultimately the world. To heal our world, we must heal the minds of our children so that they can see themselves and others responsibly.

I had to grow to accept that my parenting style is perfectly imperfect. If you want to know more about how we live keep reading.